A common assumption is that separation always leads to divorce. This is a myth! I
believe that with some hard work on the part of couples that this does not always have to
be the case. I have worked with many couples who have used separation to improve their
relationship, grow as individuals and create a more satisfying [...]
Is Marriage Possible After Separation?
May 22nd, 2011
Four Common Mistakes Couples Make During Separation
May 12th, 2011
1. Failure to set goals – Often couples do not focus on what they want to accomplish during a period of separation. Individual and relationship goals are not established. Without clear goals and shared responsibility, partners return to their relationship with the same expectations and behavior that have gotten them stuck repeatedly. A great way [...]
“We tried a separation and it didn’t work!”
June 21st, 2010
Physical separations alone will not necessarily change old patterns!
Jane is in a new marriage. Jane’s last husband had affairs and eventually left her. Jane has what I call “a large scar on her heart” from being left. She also had a mean and abusive alcoholic father that criticized her throughout [...]
In-house Separations can be least destructive to children and easier on finances!
June 21st, 2010
In-house separations can be especially attractive for both financial reasons and can be least disruptive to children. Parents can continue to be available to their children daily while they figure out what they are going to do with their relationship.
In-house separations are usually short-term and offer couples a cool down period during a particularly [...]
Separation always leads to divorce…NOT!
June 21st, 2010
One type of separation does NOT fit all! If you’re thinking about separating, choose from the following menu:
One of the biggest myths about separation is that “they always end in divorce”. In over 30 years of working with couples I have come to realize that the most common misunderstanding among people is that they [...]
Before You Throw in the Towel to Your Relationship – Read This!
March 21st, 2010
One of the biggest mistakes individuals make is deciding to break up without first understanding their real goals and purposes of why their relationships are not working for them. One of the most common complaints I hear from an individual whose partner announces they want a divorce is, “You never told me you were [...]
The two most important skills needed for productive communication:Listening and Validating
February 18th, 2010
Communication between partners breaks down when there are defensive reactions such as: blame, criticisms, putdowns, name calling, sarcasm, interruptions, withdrawal, etc.
Underneath these non productive reactions is often hurt, fear, unmet needs and wants and sadness. Old feelings buried inside us from previous relationships and childhood trigger are self protective behaviors. Just like our [...]
Is communication with your partner like a volley ball game where blame gets tossed back and forth?
February 17th, 2010
Some couples communication patterns are filled with blame, accusations, finger pointing and fault finding. Some issue comes up in the conversation that seems to push the defensive button for a least one partner. Because relationship communication goes back and forth in a circular motion, one defensive reaction can set off a chain [...]
Why is conflict in your relationship so important?
January 31st, 2010
How do you fight with your partner?
John and Mary sat in their counselor’s office and proudly stated, “We never [...]
Before you delete your relationship, try hitting the pause button!
January 24th, 2010
Could a separation help a struggling relationship?
Hello, I’m Bob Buchicchio and welcome to my blog. I’m very excited about this blog since I have been planning and thinking about it for a long time. I have been working with struggling individuals and couples for many years now and believe I [...]
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